Expectations, boy, have they gotten me in trouble through the years. Expectations I’ve put on myself, on others, on experiences, you name it.
Expectations can’t be avoided. And honestly, expectations in and of themselves are a good thing. When we make plans, we absolutely need to believe and trust and do everything in our power to make those dreams and plans come true. Without expectations, life would feel pointless.
But when life doesn’t go as we have so carefully planned out in our minds, that’s when expectations can get us mired in a pit of despair. And too many times, our expectations can be unreasonable.
God has been showing me more and more that so often less is more. And less expectations can lead to more beautiful surprises!
My most profound experience with this was during my 10 years of infertility treatment. I fully expected God to fulfill my desire to get pregnant, and I was willing to go to great lengths to achieve that dream. No matter how much pain I was in, how many procedures I had to endure and medicatons I had to take, I trudged onward.
And then God showed up in a way that was a complete surprise. We received a phone call one night from a good friend who informed us that her niece was pregnant. She wondered if we had ever considered adoption because her niece wanted to give the baby to a loving family to raise. Her niece wanted what’s called an open adoption, so she wanted to meet the adoptive family and handpick them.
It wasn’t that I wasn’t open to adoption before this, but I didn't think we were there yet. Despite that, we instantly knew that God’s hand was all over this, and we agreed to meet with her.
I have to admit, I was incredibly nervous as we drove to our friend’s house. Would she like us, what do you say in this kind of “interview,” were we ready to raise someone else’s child, so many crazy thoughts running through my head. But from the moment we met, I was amazed at how easily the conversation flowed. We connected instantly, and she ended up choosing us!
Adopting our first son, Christopher, was the greatest surprise of my life! I’m so glad we said yes to the idea, even though it wasn’t what we were expecting! We adopted another son, and I also have two bonus sons through my second marriage; but I never had the biological child that I had expected all those years.
God answered my prayers to be a mother, but not how I had anticipated.
Have you ever experienced that, my friend?
I’m sure you have because God is a creative God. And here’s the deal, He loves to surprise us!
Look at how God surprised the world with another special baby, Jesus! Mary and Joseph were completely stunned by this virgin birth. Who could imagine anything like that happening?
And most of the Jews missed the surprise entirely because Jesus wasn’t the warrior king they had been expecting, one who would lead the Jewish nation to freedom from the oppression they were suffering under Roman rule. Even after witnessing the amazing, awe-inspiring miracles that Jesus performed, like raising Lazarus from the dead, the Jewish leaders missed the surprise completely because they weren’t open to it. Jesus didn’t align with what they anticipated the Messiah to look like. His message was outside of their expectations, so they rejected it.
Here’s another very practical and I hope encouraging example from my own journey. This happened many years ago as I was traveling to a small little church in a small little town on Mother’s Day to speak and sing. I was feeling sorry for myself because I was by myself on Mother’s Day and knew there weren’t going to be very many people there, which made me feel small, which also meant I probably wouldn’t make much money from the freewill offering I would be receiving, which is how I made my living.
As I was driving and allowing my feelings to make me feel smaller and smaller, I felt God saying, “Numbers don’t matter to me. Go there and bless them.” I instantly felt convicted to turn my thoughts around and go there with a renewed heart that simply wanted to bless whoever was there, no matter how few. Less expectations and simply obedience.
It was a beautiful, Spirit-filled time of sharing with less than 30 people. My heart felt incredibly full as I drove away. And imagine my surprise when I opened the envelope containing the freewill offering and found a check from one of their members for $1,000! What?!
It was as if the words of Jesus in His beautiful Sermon on the Mount came to life in real-time:
"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God."
Matthew 5:8 (NIV)
Less expectations, coupled with simple obedience, opened the door to a beautiful surprise.
How are you doing with expectations? Are you being realistic with yourself and with others? Are you expecting too much from others or too little from God?
Is God asking for your obedience without any expectations of outcomes?
Maybe it’s time for you to have less expectations and more surprises!
Who knows? Perhaps God will bless you with the greatest surprise of your life!
Hugs and love,
Jill
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